megay:

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen

givemeinternet:

Some headline writer has waited their entire career for this day.
juztgurlythingz:

http://richasian.tumblr.com/ submitted
418
! ! !

theawesomeadventurer:

evacu0:

theawesomeadventurer:

DOES DICK TASTE SALTY I NEED TO KNOW KNOW PLS RESPOND

Raw dick does but if you preheat your oven at 350. Use some honey glaze and poof you have wonderful tasting penis.

thanks!!! i was asking because my grandma cant have salt since her body cant handle the sodium so she doesnt care for the taste of salt anymore. you’ve been a real help!

unclefather:

when i’m famous i’ll remember that you unfollowed me

did-you-kno:

J.R. Smith of the New York Knicks was fined $50,000 for untying opponents’ shoelaces during games. Source
shwagerr:

LMAO

4thofjulys:

"Americans are being so annoy-"

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